a quote about fear

“Fears are a lot like billboards. The closer you get, the bigger they seem, yet stay the course and the faster they vanish behind you.”

—	Mike Dooley

Be Like Spike

Spike is almost 5 years old. He is part hound dog, part wienie dog, part bull mastif.. and possibly a little beagle in there too. Whatever he is, he is unique. 

He is very long and so when he is sitting you expect a massive dog. However, when he stands you actually see that  he has very short legs, and that one of them is at a 90 degree angle the wrong way. 

Spike does not see this. Spike only knows that he is smart and inquisitive (Lazy too but we will get there later.) He doesn’t even bother with the little dogs. They can bark and yap all day and he doesn’t pay them any attention at all. The big dogs though, he notices them. The dogs can be twice his height and he stands his ground without fear. Spike sees himself differently than we see him. 

Shouldn’t we all be like Spike? We should stand fearless, or at least seem to stand that way, against the things we think might try and take what is ours (happiness). We should barely notice the little things that are trivial and really don’t deserve our energy. 

Spike is a happy dog. Of course we take good care of him, he is a pampered puppy. But still, Spike never frets over his gimpy paw, he doesn’t realize that he had the potential to be twice his size.. all he sees is who he is. And with who he is, he is king. 

Be like Spike.

2012 is going to be amazing. I can feel it in my bones!

2011 was a year of transition for a lot of people I know. Professionally, emotionally, relationshipy. 2012 is the year things will happen. We (as a collective whole) will live up to the dreams we talk about. We will reach out for those goals. We will find peace in ourselves that nobody else can give us. We will connect as people and build each other up instead of tearing each other down. This is gonna happen in my world. I hope you'll be a part of it.

The dreaded math beast has been slain!

That’s right folks, I did it. I passed my last math class. I got a C. In any other class I would be very disappointed, but given the amount of times math has bested me – I envision the C as powerful as the A.

Math has been my nemesis for the duration of my college education. It reared its ugly head in the 4^th grade when we started fractions and it only tightened its grip on me from there. I struggled many times, I even drowned a few. Now, in this class, my last time being thrown into the ocean with sharks, I have made it safely to shore.

Not only is this a relief for me, but I feel stronger. No, I don’t feel stronger because I am finished.. I feel stronger because I can look back and say “I did it.” Nobody did it for me. I did that (with the help of a marvelous tutor I must admit). I was stronger and smarter than I feared I was. Math for me has been not only a challenge of the actual content, but a challenge of my own will to continue. Many times I threw my hands in the air and said I was done with college. “I am happy with my job, I aspire to be a novelist..so screw math.” But then ultimately the other voice would get louder. It was my Klingon voice reminding me that there is no honor in quitting. It was the voice reminding me that giving up was not an option for me. It reminded me that I could slay the math beast.

And slay it I did.

From here on out I focus on things in my field.  I am going into psychology. There are many opportunities to utilize this degree. I likely will not be a counselor or any sort. I will decide where to go later, but for now I am just glad to have those core classes over. Well, I have one more lit class, but otherwise I am done with cores.

Let’s see what happens next.   I’m excited for the next journey!