Buddha

My son is a self-proclaimed Buddhist. He declared this somewhere around the age of 10.

The University I am currently attending is a private University. It is also a Catholic university. I am not Catholic. (I’m not anything really. I’m a potpourri of many things.) We are required to take a religion course regardless of our major. Instead of all the Catholic classes I chose Eastern religions.

This class was as fun and enlightening as I imagined it would be. I loved so much about the course. But I have to be honest; it was also one of the harder courses I have taken. I am pulling an 83 right now. I am floored that I am making such a terrible B in the class. My final exam will make me or break me. If I get a C I will actually cry. A B makes me sad but not devastated. A B is really a fine grade all things considered. Still, I was so sure I would do better.

All in all I learned a lot and really feel more enlightened to so many things. A lot of the ways I had always felt about things are apparently not so isolated and weird – they actually mean something in other religions. It is a nice feeling.

Also, it helps me with Trey’s Buddhist life. He knew some basics when he declared this a year ago (two years ago almost?) but now I was able to say things like “Hey, did you know blah blah blah?” and we can talk about it. I even bought him a Buddhist statue. It is a healing Buddha (some of you know how disabling his allergies can be). (Side note:  I also bought him Tibetan healing beads made of yak bone – he said that’s as manly as a bracelet can be. Yak bone! And it looks really good on his wrist.)

I’ve always said my son was an old soul. He talks a lot and he is in so many ways a very typical 11 year old boy who is kicking in the door of being a 12 year old boy. But also, Trey is a wise soul. He has more patience (in some areas) than adults I know. His wisdom of friendship and life is often beyond my own understanding. Maybe he was a Buddhist in a previous life. (I have always believed in those, it just makes sense to me.)

What is the point of this post? A little whining about my grades (which I totally want to blame on a hardcore teacher {because he is insanely hard!}, but I know as a student it is ultimately my own actions that make the grades), an expression of my gladness to have learned that others do think the way I do, and also just to say that I am glad to understand this part of my son a little more. Overall, I think I just needed to make the end of that class something final. Working full time and going to University full time and trying to run a family as a single mom is a lot of damn work. A lot. Sometimes i just need a ritual ending. Maybe the end of each semester should result in a reflective post.

This is not a reflective post I suppose. It’s a bit self-indulgent to be relevant to anyone else. Still, it felt good to get these things written down. 

Don't give the squirrel Pepsi!

Sometimes I journal in my head while driving “I’ve got to open this next blog with ‘Trust me when I say don’t give the squirrels Pepsi.’ Because they HAVE to know how bad that idea is after what happened in the back yard.” And I write it all out in my head.

Then I get home. Dinner. Homework. Big Bang Theory. More homework. Shower. Read myself to almost asleep “CRAP! I didn’t journal about the squirrel! I’ll do it tomorrow.” Fall asleep. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The problem with not blogging (or as it was called in the old-school days – journaling) in a while is that there is this need to make excuses. “Sorry everyone. I’ve been up to my eyebrows in homework.” Or  “So much over time. I didn’t mean to neglect you all for so long.” The list goes on and on.

I used to be one of the people who felt the need to explain to the world why I haven’t journaled in 5 weeks. I quit doing that (most of the time). I still apologize sometimes, but mostly I decided it was not required. I should never feel obligated to update a journal (aka blog). It is there for me to say things I want to say when I want to say them.

Now, if this were my profession or if I were heavily networking then I would A) blog more regularly or B) when I did miss a week I would try to offer something in exchange for my absence. Neither of those apply.

I know some of you don’t know me personally outside of the cyber world so you are here because you are genuinely interested in something I have to offer (Spazzing out in excitement over the newest Star Wars announcement? Photos of my Spiderman bathroom? My Pepsi addiction?). I freakin love you guys for being here! I’m just a big geek girl like any other. Your dedication means a ton. I feel like I do owe you guys something more regularly. I am assuming (if you are still reading) that you know I am not a regular journaler. I seem to be feast of famine here. Blog blog blog blog.. silence. Silence. More silence. Blog blog blog!

At any rate. Thank you all for your patience. Lazy bloggers need love too. Thank you guys for the love you show me.

How about my fellow journalers/bloggers? Do you guys apologize for being absent??

(And incase you wondered. Yes, I blog/journal in many places. Often these entries are written and then posted several places. Live Journal, Blogspot, sometimes Facebook, sometimes Gaia, sometimes my other Live Journal, sometimes TheOtaku, sometimes DeviantArt. I’m everywhere.)