Don't give the squirrel Pepsi!

Sometimes I journal in my head while driving “I’ve got to open this next blog with ‘Trust me when I say don’t give the squirrels Pepsi.’ Because they HAVE to know how bad that idea is after what happened in the back yard.” And I write it all out in my head.

Then I get home. Dinner. Homework. Big Bang Theory. More homework. Shower. Read myself to almost asleep “CRAP! I didn’t journal about the squirrel! I’ll do it tomorrow.” Fall asleep. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The problem with not blogging (or as it was called in the old-school days – journaling) in a while is that there is this need to make excuses. “Sorry everyone. I’ve been up to my eyebrows in homework.” Or  “So much over time. I didn’t mean to neglect you all for so long.” The list goes on and on.

I used to be one of the people who felt the need to explain to the world why I haven’t journaled in 5 weeks. I quit doing that (most of the time). I still apologize sometimes, but mostly I decided it was not required. I should never feel obligated to update a journal (aka blog). It is there for me to say things I want to say when I want to say them.

Now, if this were my profession or if I were heavily networking then I would A) blog more regularly or B) when I did miss a week I would try to offer something in exchange for my absence. Neither of those apply.

I know some of you don’t know me personally outside of the cyber world so you are here because you are genuinely interested in something I have to offer (Spazzing out in excitement over the newest Star Wars announcement? Photos of my Spiderman bathroom? My Pepsi addiction?). I freakin love you guys for being here! I’m just a big geek girl like any other. Your dedication means a ton. I feel like I do owe you guys something more regularly. I am assuming (if you are still reading) that you know I am not a regular journaler. I seem to be feast of famine here. Blog blog blog blog.. silence. Silence. More silence. Blog blog blog!

At any rate. Thank you all for your patience. Lazy bloggers need love too. Thank you guys for the love you show me.

How about my fellow journalers/bloggers? Do you guys apologize for being absent??

(And incase you wondered. Yes, I blog/journal in many places. Often these entries are written and then posted several places. Live Journal, Blogspot, sometimes Facebook, sometimes Gaia, sometimes my other Live Journal, sometimes TheOtaku, sometimes DeviantArt. I’m everywhere.)

About my hearing issues..

After all these decades I have answers. So dear Dragon*con friends (and other friends who deal with me in places of non-quiet)- maybe you will forgive me when you have to repeat yourselves 30 times.

I have to admit, I didn't know other people didn't have the problems I have. I thought a lot of my "problems" were normal. I only recently found out that other people don't hear the way I do. How surprising for me! But now that I know what's wrong, I know I can work actively to try and create situations where my issues can be overcome and handled properly. My hopes are that this will create a better hearing life for me. My doctor told me I am working too hard to communicate. I honestly thought everyone worked that hard. I just wanted a hearing aid. But it is far more than my physical ear that is the issue. Who knew. 


I drew a little comic to try and explain the problem. It is much more complicated than I can explain, but it should help give you the general idea. Read the description and then read the comic - it makes more sense in that order. 

Passions vs Paychecks

I have come to enjoy the luxuries in life such as food, electricity, running water, the interwebz.. and of course I need a roof over my head to have these things. In order to have the roof over my head I need a paycheck. That means a job.

I love my job. Let’s be honest here – I have worked many many jobs in my life and this is really the only one where I didn’t dread dragging out of bed at 6:05 in the morning. I sometimes even look forward to going back to work after the weekend is over. I truly and honestly adore my job. It pays the bills so I try not to whine about salary. I come home happy at night and we have plenty to eat – a lot of people are not as lucky as I am.

Still, there is something else in me that itches to get out. My passion for writing. I AM a writer. I am constantly writing – even if it’s just in my head. See me staring out the window looking like Homer Simpson? I’m working on the novel right up there in the ole noggin. My mind is NEVER quiet. Well, it was quiet for about 20ish minutes on that cruise I took last week but that’s a teeny teeny part of a 4 day “relaxing” cruise. My mind is too loud for relaxing.

When I do have time to let my brain free onto paper I will find myself in any number of lands with any number of people. Basically, it’s write or die.

Being a full time student again (gotta get that Masters degree!) and a full time employee has really put a damper in my writing time. I still have some, but not nearly as much as I wish I did. I enjoy learning in these classes, and let’s be honest about me.. I just love learning. I would be a full time student if I could get paid for it. But it’s really cutting into my writing time. Most people whine about their social life suffering. Lucky for me my social life doesn’t exist. But my starving novelist life does.

Some people risk it all and run off to Hollywood with $28 and the clothes in their backpack hoping to make it. Some people do. Most of them don’t. I can’t run off to Scholastic Press and camp out hoping some agent will hear my thoughts and sign me up to write a novel.

So I plug along in the freetime I find. Write today, edit tomorrow, do nothing for 3 weeks because papers are due and an event is coming at work and whatever else life thing is happening – then I write again and don’t write again.. it’s a never ending cycle.

Some day I know I will finish an editing.. and then.. then I begin camping out and pimping my books all over town.

Women's History Month

Monday started Women’s History Month. Even in my own lifetime (40 years thank you) I have witnessed great moments in history for women. I remember the first female who made it to the final presidential election as a vice-Presidential candidate.  I saw the first American woman in space (1983 – Russia beat us with a woman in space by about 20 years). I have seen the rise of Oprah Winfrey first hand-ish.

As I organize my Quiz Show that I put on for the students in the college cafeteria (I also do this for Black History Month and Constitution Day) I remember all the various things that I didn’t see happen in my lifetime but that I have benefitted from greatly. I feel so fortunate to live in a time and country where women have so much more freedoms than we once had, and more than some women in other countries have in this present day.

I can wear pants. I can vote. I can own my own business. I can realize that I’ve been divorced almost 17 years and may never remarry – and I can be okay with that because in this place and time I can take care of myself.

Sure there are still battles women need to fight. Equal pay. The constant war over our own uterus. The ability to be as sexually active as a man and not be considered a slut. Etc. Etc.

Still, overall, I say we have come a long way and we are at a pretty damn good place now. I look forward to seeing more positive and exciting changes in my lifetime that will pave the way for my daughter and the rest of my coming bloodline.

On my way to the BA!

With the AA now behind me (thank you math god!) and the BA looking me dead in the face, I have to stay organized. I was generally a good student anyhow so this is not a new proclamation or anything, but with this semester I am undertaking a full course load on top of working a 40 hour workweek (and the kids and general life stuff). I cannot risk assignments slipping up on me. I spent a good portion of my morning searching for an ideal student academic planner. I have realized there really isn’t one. I have a planner on my desk I never used for work so I scooped it up to use for school.

The classes are interesting and I am enjoying them so far (day 3!) but they are extremely busy classes. Every single day I have something due. I may be able to take Sundays off, maybe. The structure of my university (so excited to be in a real university!) is 8 week courses instead of the traditional 16 weeks. So I have half the time to do just as much work. I like this process actually. Being busy keeps me focused. With no time to procrastinate then I can’t find a way to do so.

Two classes at a time, 8 weeks each. Then the very next day I start the next 8 weeks for the next two classes. This makes 12 credit hours in 16 weeks which is standard academic normality. At this rate (fall and spring) I will graduate spring of 2013. However, I am not a student who takes summers off unless it is because of financial reasons (financial aid can be tricky about summers). If I can get my courses covered financially I will go during the summers too and that will dramatically change my graduation date. I’ll know more on this later.

Side note: I wish I was sharing all this with Linda. I really wish her boyfriend hadn’t kicked me out of her life. I’m learning to live without her, but I miss her.