So this just happened...

Me (at the end of my introduction on my class discussion board): Just as a little side note of having a hobby, I am a costumer at conventions; Sci-fi and anime alike. I love to run around in costume and meet others who do the same.

A fellow student's reply: I've always thought it would be interesting to dress up as a homeless lady, not having had a bath in quite a while, smelling bad you know, and attend various churches just to compare reactions.  I may really do it one day when I have more time to enjoy.  I would also like to work at McDonald's for some reason, a week would probably do for me, but I'd like to experience that.

First official day!!!

SO today was my official first day of Graduate school. I feel ready to fly into the moon with happiness, and into the sun with nervousness. In all honesty I am only nervous because in a few semesters I have to take Statistics at the Masters level and I struggled at the senior undergrad level. But I'll not think about that today. Today I will just think about how awesome it is to have officially started classes. AH! 

BACHELORS DEGREE I AM NO LONGER IN YOU! My work here is done.

Masters bound..

With the last semester of my Bachelors degree approaching I have been doing a lot of soul searching. What to Master in?

I considered furthering myself in Psychology (my Bachelors focus) but not to be a therapist. Honestly I could never do that job. I don't think I have the patience (compassion?) to listen to people whine incessantly about First World Problems. Don't misunderstand me, there are people who have genuine problems and I am so glad there are therapists to help them. If I DID continue my Psychology degree I would want to be a Life Coach. I feel like I already do that in so many ways at my present job.

I considered an MBA. I have an Associates in Business with a focus on Small Business. MBA's are hot in demand and expected to remain so. I would have to have Masters level Accounting and Masters level Economics. No thanks. I know, I know, I always tell people to face fear and conquer it.. but this is not just average fear, I know my capabilities and I barely got out of Economics and Accounting (1 and 2!) at the undergrad level - Grad level will slay me. So I find this a logical decision.

I love my job. With a passion. I have never in my life loved a job the way I love this one. I have a purpose. I make a difference (at least I think I do!) I am hands on with college students. I feel (Cue the corny music) like I found my calling. So what can I do with my educational future to support my current job? Well it just so happens that there are such things as Masters programs in Student Affairs (Student Services, depending on the college). A Masters degree that ties into my job?! It's perfect.

Will I be as marketable as I will be with an MBA? Nope. Will I be happier continuing this path of fulfilled happiness than I would be if I ventured off into another one of material paychecks? Yep.

I'm not trying to say I don't like a good paycheck. I like things. And I love conventions. So yes, please pay me! But I will absolutely get work in the Student Services field with this degree and the experience I already have. I really think I will be a happy person with this decision.

A load is off my shoulders now. I see the path before me. It isn't full of golden leaves and diamond sidewalks, but it is full of joy and fulfillment. I choose happiness. I hope you will choose your path of happy, (even if for you it's the material stuffs.. be happy!)

keep smiling,
DJ

P.S. If the universe chooses to reward me with happiness AND money I will certainly not complain! Just sayin.

I PASSED!!!!

No more sweating Statistics and Research II. I passed! I even passed with a C+. I never thought I'd be so stoked about a C but I totally am. Now I can relax a little. I have 6 more classes to go but they aren't Statistics and Research!

To pass or not to pass... that is the question..

The semester ended yesterday. I am stressing hard about Statistics and Research. I got a B in Statistics and Research 1, but I don’t know if I will be so lucky in Statistics and Research 2. Honestly I am hoping I pull out a C. That will be a damn miracle. Grades come out Wednesday. I will be super stressed until then.

I know I shouldn’t stress about it. It is what it is. I cannot change the grade at this point in the game. Why stress? Stress does me no good at all. None. But I am not so stressed about the grade itself – the grade is just the factor. I am stressed about knowing whether or not I have to repeat it. Of course I am really hoping I passed with a C and can continue moving along. But if I didn’t get atleast a C.. I will have to retake it. It is taught once a year. That means next year. Ugh. It would so delay my graduation. That is why I am stressed. I need to know the gameplan.

Anywho.. that’s my current issue. 

Buddha

My son is a self-proclaimed Buddhist. He declared this somewhere around the age of 10.

The University I am currently attending is a private University. It is also a Catholic university. I am not Catholic. (I’m not anything really. I’m a potpourri of many things.) We are required to take a religion course regardless of our major. Instead of all the Catholic classes I chose Eastern religions.

This class was as fun and enlightening as I imagined it would be. I loved so much about the course. But I have to be honest; it was also one of the harder courses I have taken. I am pulling an 83 right now. I am floored that I am making such a terrible B in the class. My final exam will make me or break me. If I get a C I will actually cry. A B makes me sad but not devastated. A B is really a fine grade all things considered. Still, I was so sure I would do better.

All in all I learned a lot and really feel more enlightened to so many things. A lot of the ways I had always felt about things are apparently not so isolated and weird – they actually mean something in other religions. It is a nice feeling.

Also, it helps me with Trey’s Buddhist life. He knew some basics when he declared this a year ago (two years ago almost?) but now I was able to say things like “Hey, did you know blah blah blah?” and we can talk about it. I even bought him a Buddhist statue. It is a healing Buddha (some of you know how disabling his allergies can be). (Side note:  I also bought him Tibetan healing beads made of yak bone – he said that’s as manly as a bracelet can be. Yak bone! And it looks really good on his wrist.)

I’ve always said my son was an old soul. He talks a lot and he is in so many ways a very typical 11 year old boy who is kicking in the door of being a 12 year old boy. But also, Trey is a wise soul. He has more patience (in some areas) than adults I know. His wisdom of friendship and life is often beyond my own understanding. Maybe he was a Buddhist in a previous life. (I have always believed in those, it just makes sense to me.)

What is the point of this post? A little whining about my grades (which I totally want to blame on a hardcore teacher {because he is insanely hard!}, but I know as a student it is ultimately my own actions that make the grades), an expression of my gladness to have learned that others do think the way I do, and also just to say that I am glad to understand this part of my son a little more. Overall, I think I just needed to make the end of that class something final. Working full time and going to University full time and trying to run a family as a single mom is a lot of damn work. A lot. Sometimes i just need a ritual ending. Maybe the end of each semester should result in a reflective post.

This is not a reflective post I suppose. It’s a bit self-indulgent to be relevant to anyone else. Still, it felt good to get these things written down. 

On my way to the BA!

With the AA now behind me (thank you math god!) and the BA looking me dead in the face, I have to stay organized. I was generally a good student anyhow so this is not a new proclamation or anything, but with this semester I am undertaking a full course load on top of working a 40 hour workweek (and the kids and general life stuff). I cannot risk assignments slipping up on me. I spent a good portion of my morning searching for an ideal student academic planner. I have realized there really isn’t one. I have a planner on my desk I never used for work so I scooped it up to use for school.

The classes are interesting and I am enjoying them so far (day 3!) but they are extremely busy classes. Every single day I have something due. I may be able to take Sundays off, maybe. The structure of my university (so excited to be in a real university!) is 8 week courses instead of the traditional 16 weeks. So I have half the time to do just as much work. I like this process actually. Being busy keeps me focused. With no time to procrastinate then I can’t find a way to do so.

Two classes at a time, 8 weeks each. Then the very next day I start the next 8 weeks for the next two classes. This makes 12 credit hours in 16 weeks which is standard academic normality. At this rate (fall and spring) I will graduate spring of 2013. However, I am not a student who takes summers off unless it is because of financial reasons (financial aid can be tricky about summers). If I can get my courses covered financially I will go during the summers too and that will dramatically change my graduation date. I’ll know more on this later.

Side note: I wish I was sharing all this with Linda. I really wish her boyfriend hadn’t kicked me out of her life. I’m learning to live without her, but I miss her.

The dreaded math beast has been slain!

That’s right folks, I did it. I passed my last math class. I got a C. In any other class I would be very disappointed, but given the amount of times math has bested me – I envision the C as powerful as the A.

Math has been my nemesis for the duration of my college education. It reared its ugly head in the 4^th grade when we started fractions and it only tightened its grip on me from there. I struggled many times, I even drowned a few. Now, in this class, my last time being thrown into the ocean with sharks, I have made it safely to shore.

Not only is this a relief for me, but I feel stronger. No, I don’t feel stronger because I am finished.. I feel stronger because I can look back and say “I did it.” Nobody did it for me. I did that (with the help of a marvelous tutor I must admit). I was stronger and smarter than I feared I was. Math for me has been not only a challenge of the actual content, but a challenge of my own will to continue. Many times I threw my hands in the air and said I was done with college. “I am happy with my job, I aspire to be a novelist..so screw math.” But then ultimately the other voice would get louder. It was my Klingon voice reminding me that there is no honor in quitting. It was the voice reminding me that giving up was not an option for me. It reminded me that I could slay the math beast.

And slay it I did.

From here on out I focus on things in my field.  I am going into psychology. There are many opportunities to utilize this degree. I likely will not be a counselor or any sort. I will decide where to go later, but for now I am just glad to have those core classes over. Well, I have one more lit class, but otherwise I am done with cores.

Let’s see what happens next.   I’m excited for the next journey!