Baby Got Back

“This is the one song you can turn up and I won’t judge your penis.” is what I said in the car yesterday (to my daughter, son, and my daughter's boyfriend) as Baby Got Back came on. I really judge people who turn up the bass so loudly that it vibrates the ribs of people in other cars. I assume they have a teeny penis and need to make up for what they lack. However, Baby Got Back is the one exception to the rule. Because it should be a law that that song gets turned up every time. 

Masters bound..

With the last semester of my Bachelors degree approaching I have been doing a lot of soul searching. What to Master in?

I considered furthering myself in Psychology (my Bachelors focus) but not to be a therapist. Honestly I could never do that job. I don't think I have the patience (compassion?) to listen to people whine incessantly about First World Problems. Don't misunderstand me, there are people who have genuine problems and I am so glad there are therapists to help them. If I DID continue my Psychology degree I would want to be a Life Coach. I feel like I already do that in so many ways at my present job.

I considered an MBA. I have an Associates in Business with a focus on Small Business. MBA's are hot in demand and expected to remain so. I would have to have Masters level Accounting and Masters level Economics. No thanks. I know, I know, I always tell people to face fear and conquer it.. but this is not just average fear, I know my capabilities and I barely got out of Economics and Accounting (1 and 2!) at the undergrad level - Grad level will slay me. So I find this a logical decision.

I love my job. With a passion. I have never in my life loved a job the way I love this one. I have a purpose. I make a difference (at least I think I do!) I am hands on with college students. I feel (Cue the corny music) like I found my calling. So what can I do with my educational future to support my current job? Well it just so happens that there are such things as Masters programs in Student Affairs (Student Services, depending on the college). A Masters degree that ties into my job?! It's perfect.

Will I be as marketable as I will be with an MBA? Nope. Will I be happier continuing this path of fulfilled happiness than I would be if I ventured off into another one of material paychecks? Yep.

I'm not trying to say I don't like a good paycheck. I like things. And I love conventions. So yes, please pay me! But I will absolutely get work in the Student Services field with this degree and the experience I already have. I really think I will be a happy person with this decision.

A load is off my shoulders now. I see the path before me. It isn't full of golden leaves and diamond sidewalks, but it is full of joy and fulfillment. I choose happiness. I hope you will choose your path of happy, (even if for you it's the material stuffs.. be happy!)

keep smiling,
DJ

P.S. If the universe chooses to reward me with happiness AND money I will certainly not complain! Just sayin.

3 little words...

I think most of us live in reverse. Do. Have. Be. but we should actually  Be. Do. Have. I have felt this way for a while but wasn't sure how to put it into such simple words.. A seminar/workshop I attended Thursday night gave me the words. 

See, we do things so we can have things so we can be things. 

Shouldn't we be the things we want to be so we can do the things we want to do so we can have the things that are far greater things than anything we imagined?

Maybe if we transcend the Do. Have. Be. and become the Be. Do. Have. people, then maybe things will make more sense. Even if it doesn't make more sense, I have a feeling we will be much happier. 

I put Be. first many years ago (almost a decade now!) and I have just never been a happier person. I am certainly not the person I ever imagined I would be.. but I am happy. That means everything. 

I was trying to do Be. Have. Do. but I think I am gonna rearrange to Be. Do. Have. I bet everything else falls into place. 

I'm sorry it's over, I celebrate the beauty while it lasted.

Why do we say that an 11 year marriage that is now ending is a failure? Why is it? Shouldn’t we celebrate the 11 years of love? Eleven years of making smiles and laughter. Eleven years of making love. Eleven years of sharing your dreams and fears with someone else. Eleven years of raising children to be the best people they can be. Christmas’s, birthdays, trips to Disney.. these things are not failures. These things are wonderful! So it’s over now.. it was amazing while it lasted. Your cake will be gone in 6 bites. Should you not even take a bite at all? Of course not! You eat those bites, savor them, and be grateful you had the experience. So when people get divorced (or separated if they were never married) quit judging the entire time as a failure or a waste of time. A 72 hour marriage is a failure. Hell a 72 day marriage is a failure.. but 11 years? I say that was a success. The pressure to be in it for life (or else you fail) is too much pressure. What is that expression? “Just because you know the song will end doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” An eleven year dance is a beautiful thing.

(Note: of course you are allowed to grieve for the couple and they are fully allowed to grieve the end of a beautiful thing. But it is NOT a failure. They are not failures. That is all.) 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I always answer with the same thing – a published author. That is where I see myself. Well, at least part of where I see myself. Oh sure, I want the big house, the dreamy vacations, and all those other fun things.. but I have an ever bigger idea.

But first - Where do I see myself today? I could talk about how we have more people than bedrooms in the house. How my son has outgrown the backseat of my tiny truck. My son gets allergies so bad he is nearly bedridden twice a year. Or how I’m still struggling through full time University while working full time and running a blog and editing my novel, etc etc etc. but that’s not how I see myself at all. I see myself with a house, a good house. I see myself with a truck that I know will run when I turn it on in the morning. It even has reverse (yep, drove a car without reverse for 6 months when I was 27!) My kids are healthy, save for seasonal allergies (which are not life threatening). I am lucky enough to have a job, a good job that I absolutely love (with a desk and a lamp!) I am very lucky enough to be one semester away from my bachelor’s degree.  My novels never leave me, even when I don’t have time to devote to them..they never leave me.

See, I have lived on all ends of the luxury spectrum. I have lived in a homeless shelter with a 2 month old baby. I have eaten nothing but biscuits for more time than I can count. Then again, I have had cash to toss out and take a vacation without saving. I have bought grand gifts for Christmas. I have also been too poor to afford Christmas cards, let alone any gifts. I have had the most amazing friends a woman could dream of. I have lost friends to the cancer beast. I have lost friends because of other reasons I won’t get into. I have fallen in love so hard I got dizzy. I have had my heart shattered into so many fragments I was sure I would never recover. I have barely passed my way through high school. I have excelled my way through college.

The thing I have learned is that life happens to us no matter how hard we plan. 17 year old me would be shocked at what all we haven’t accomplished yet. 17 year old me would also be shocked at what all we have accomplished so far. Life is going to happen whether you plan for the good or the bad. You don’t get to choose those things. What you do get to choose is appreciating the daily things that you have. You have every right to relish the things you have right this minute. Sure, you can wish for more things and bigger things – but don’t forget to appreciate the things of today because tomorrow you could have so much less.

So where do I see myself in 5 years? Wherever the universe wants me to be.  Each day has a purpose and I won’t waste today trying to get to tomorrow. Tomorrow will come regardless.