Why do we say that an 11 year marriage that is now ending is a failure? Why is it? Shouldn’t we celebrate the 11 years of love? Eleven years of making smiles and laughter. Eleven years of making love. Eleven years of sharing your dreams and fears with someone else. Eleven years of raising children to be the best people they can be. Christmas’s, birthdays, trips to Disney.. these things are not failures. These things are wonderful! So it’s over now.. it was amazing while it lasted. Your cake will be gone in 6 bites. Should you not even take a bite at all? Of course not! You eat those bites, savor them, and be grateful you had the experience. So when people get divorced (or separated if they were never married) quit judging the entire time as a failure or a waste of time. A 72 hour marriage is a failure. Hell a 72 day marriage is a failure.. but 11 years? I say that was a success. The pressure to be in it for life (or else you fail) is too much pressure. What is that expression? “Just because you know the song will end doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” An eleven year dance is a beautiful thing.
(Note: of course you are allowed to grieve for the couple and they are fully allowed to grieve the end of a beautiful thing. But it is NOT a failure. They are not failures. That is all.)